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Life Of A Single Mother 

Being a single mother is not something to banter with. You will look at the stress aspect, loneliness, pain, and support.

September 14, 2013, was a blissful day. Before that day, I saw myself as soon 'Mrs'. I couldn't sleep, just tossing around the room wishing for the dawn of a new day.

The D-day finally came, I was the first to wake up. I quickly took my bath and got ready for the make-up, of course, you know I need to be good. It took us time, and finally, we were set for service.

On our way, we encountered a lot of challenges. We were in traffic for 2 hours. Calls kept coming in, funny enough as the road was clear; we had a flat tire. I was just confused, different thoughts kept running through my mind. 

I got out of the car and stopped a bike. On second thought; what if I'm being captured and my pictures will go viral that a lady boarded a bike on her wedding day. I had no option but to wait for the car to be fixed.

We arrived at the church premises at noon, people were almost leaving when I entered. I tried to smile but couldn't. I waved all the stress I've gone through and smiled sheepishly. It came to an end as my husband held my hand in love as well-wishers came to congratulate us.

October 11, 2014, we celebrated the arrival of our son which brought joy into our home. We spent most of our time in the house of God. My hubby never jokes with things of God. We lived happily not until death struck.

On the 12th of July, 2017, my hubby came home healthy from his elder brother's school party. He came home with 2 packs of rice and cane malts. That was what we took as dinner. Around 2:00 am, he woke and complained of some discomfort in his system. All of a sudden, he started throwing up and became unconscious. I reached out to his siblings and my parents as well.

Immediately, he was rushed to a private hospital at Badagry. He was attended to but he wasn't responding to treatment. He held my hand, wanted to pass a message to me; funny enough, he couldn't talk not write. He cried out loud and gave up the ghost seven days of his stay at the hospital.

I was dumbfounded, I thought he was asleep. I prayed earnestly and believing God for a miracle. I thought I was dreaming, it dawned on me that it was real. He left us without saying a word. How could he? He left without fulfilling his promises. How will I cope with the nature of my job? I cried for days, months, and years. 

God was with me as I took care of my son. It wasn't easy for me. The loneliness, pain, the sleepless nights, the thought of what to eat and how to take care of my son, the thought of his school fees, stationery, and other things. 

One faithful day, my son asked me, mum: 'where is my dad'? I told him his dad traveled. He said someone that traveled for years is it not time for him to return. I had to tell him the truth. Seeing him grow up is a thing of joy without the help of his uncle or relatives. The food he eats, the clothes he wears, and the care are from me and my family. God has been my source. Sometimes I starve myself to make sure he eats and looks good despite all challenges, my struggle continues. 

The story that you have been reading is mine so I own every word I wrote here, In Nigeria, although not properly documented, there are approximately 60 million single mothers whose stories are heartbreaking and even at times more gruesome than mine.

The number across the African continent is even grimmer than that of my country Nigeria. The thing is that there is a stigma in the continent of Africa which shares higher blame for the rise in the number of single moms and also prevents single mothers from ever really finding true love or happiness.

I just wonder, why is there no day set aside for single mothers? as for there are days for Mothers, Fathers, gays, and so on, does it mean that the world does not see our pains? were some of the world's top politicians not products of single parenting? for example, the 44th President of America BARACK OBAMA was a product of single motherhood, did he not feel the pains of his mother? BILL CLINTON was raised by a single mother, PENNY WONG the Senate leader Penny Wong returned to Australia, she was also raised by a single mother.

The list goes on but I just wonder did any of these individuals even feel the pains of their mothers? if they did then why do they not do anything to help single mothers?

There are dark days that I feel bad and think that being a single mother is in itself a jinx, there are days that dying seems like a holiday to me, there are days when my soul is sunk in the sea of depression, as a single mother, in these times I only look to the face of my child to find back my light.

If you know a single mother around you please hug her and offer your words of encouragement because that goes a long way in lighting up our hearts. 💕 💞 ❤️ 

The irony of the issue is that single motherhood is not a choice or an expectation, it is not a geographical issue or a religious one, do not think that you could not get that in your family, it just happens, and trust me none of us wanted it.

I need your support for all single mothers worldwide and mostly in the continent of Africa where there are no legal provisions for single mothers, please speak out on our behalf, share this blog with your friends and families, also support 9jacommunity´s initiative for single mothers in Africa because they show that they care.

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